Words

This is a continuation of a previous blog, and perhaps something sparked at Kellevision.

Language is powerful. Language and all it's subtle interpretations and misinterpretations can create many realities.

When I discussed the use of language, in my blog addressing abuse, I was illustrating the use of language to control someone.

And it's not just the words of the abuser, but their common everyday usage. I was called a whore during the abuse; I heard these words at school too. You tried to bend to these words, and not use them back. You could not go against them in the school yard. You were powerless at home to them. I was still trying to calculate their usage, and the power they held, as it seemed very messed up to me. I had very little power, and just sensing my unease, people outside my home used those words against me too.

In using words there came a blind act of grasping for power. The boys wanted to talk to me. That must mean she's a whore.

This systemic status quo of derogatory labels for women was everywhere I looked; in movies, in the classroom, at home, on the bus, in the social cliques.

And not just labels but acts; Fritz the Cat, a cartoon movie glorifies the dangling body of a female character, caused by the exuberant sexual prowess of a man. It's cartoon, but in it's depiction of violence against women, the theme was very real.

I walk past a woman, who just feels the need to twitter to her gay male friend something, "that whore." She says. I have no idea why. I am heading to a town hall meeting, and at one point I used to always say hi to her.

It's powerful to decide someone as defective. You are in control, when you determine someone's inferiority, (over your own).

I did not know it when I was young, but I often saw language, as huge acts of power. And there was a constant struggle for power, and for labelling someone inferior, or an outsider. In maintaining someone's sense of power, there always needed to be a victim.

I did act out as a teen. I stuck out like a sore thumb. But the rumours that ensued were often false, and as if to try to drag me down to that bottom, where the words could stick.

It had nothing to do with dress, or behavior when I got called these names but the imposition of power. And power that was out of balance, with insecure women, and girls, all gnashing for a chunk of it.

Young girls feeling little control over their lives soon learn it. To be in that role without power is awful, and only to be avoided. To often wind up without power must have happened through some slip, or some fault of your own. To be in the role where you are in constant control- that's powerful.

And to constantly defend that role is a necessity. For some people this means a constant need for enemies, or victims.

Considering what I saw through abuse I am not surprised at the word whore being spouted between women, jockeying for attention, and shreds of power.

My abuser lashed out at me with for those very same reasons.

Language is precious; it has to be cultivated. It is a necessity, that can bring knowledge and power. I may not be the best writer but it floors me that people need language to be used in the worst ways.